Happiness, now!

attributed to LeoRiq

One of my pet peeves is when people delay obtaining happiness. I actually have this one friend of mine that is an excellent example of this and it always exasperates me to no end.

She’s always saying things like

“I can’t wait until I graduate and get into the real world—then I could finally start living my life!”

Of course, I am not without fault; I had been guilty of doing so until recently.

I realized that almost for my entire life, I have been putting off my quest for happiness; my goals and items on my bucket list have just been accumulating and not being addressed.

What was I putting these off for? I wondered one day. What’s stopping me? Almost immediately, I realized that the answer was nothing.

Nothing was stopping me from accomplishing these goals.

There’s a skill that I want to learn? Why wait until after school lets out or until after I’ve enjoyed my lazy days of summer? Why can’t I do both at the same time? (During this past school year, I became very antsy at my place in life).

So, to test out my theory, I tried out one of the items on my bucket list. Travel. Although I didn’t have as much money as I needed to travel overseas, I realized that I could travel parts of the U.S. that I’ve never been to before. However, at the same time, I wanted a safety blanket. Therefore, without pause, I booked tickets to Pittsburgh to visit one of my best high school friends during my spring break.

It worked out amazingly—way better than I thought it would. I reconnected with one of my best friends and was able to quench my insatiable traveling thirst at the same time.

It was then that I realized that I didn’t need to take any drastic measures; I just needed to progress in life.

Now that I’ve taken the first step of traveling alone somewhere, I can now take the next one of traveling somewhere without a safety blanket of a friend.

So, throughout the entire next semester, any time my feelings of entrapment and being antsy, I would book a small, mini-vacation somewhere. Sometimes I would go with friends. This way, I wasn’t spending a lot of money—I could still save if I wanted to—but I was getting my instant gratification.

I think that many people have the misconception that accomplishing a goal on their bucket list will take a lot of time, money, or effort. Either that or they have that “all-or-nothing” mindset that I had been guilty of.

However, those items on your bucket list like go skydiving, write a novel, or have an adventurous summer, then there are steps you can take immediately that will propel you towards achieving your goal. The skydiving one, you can easily plan a weekend around—even a part of a day around. It’s as easy as that! For the other ones; writing a novel, having adventures, etc., you can start today. 

If you write a couple pages a day, by the end of the year, you’d find yourself with a finished novel. If you wanted an adventurous summer, take steps to make sure that you aren’t spending a majority of your days just sitting around, waiting for something to happen.

I’m sure not doing that.

In fact, every few days, when I feel like things are getting too routine, I plan out a busy, plan-filled day for the next day.

Tomorrow, I will be pigging out on Indian food, driving 2 hours to a berry orchard, going to hookah, and skinny dipping in a lake at night. Maybe even finish off the night with a horror movie. With all my favorite people. The day after, I will be leaving for Europe, which guarantees adventure.

There are a few instances where delaying gratification is not only acceptable, but necessary: to achieve a certain goal.

For example, weight loss. In order to achieve your goal weight, you will need to delay the instant gratification of food. To be honest, this is one of the things that I still struggle with today—especially since food is one of my biggest loves.

This feeling of progression also prevents the careening into one of many life crises (quarter-life, mid-life, etc), which I was in danger of a few times this past year.

I know from experience—especially working 40+ hours a week every summer—that putting in those hours doesn’t make much time for anything else. However, I was able to hang out with my friends every night after work. For the days I worked less than eight hours, I got up early and planned a schedule around it, making sure that I didn’t just sit around waiting for my shift to start. And on days off, instead of thinking I deserved a full day off to relax, I would push myself to do things even if I were bone-tired.

So do something about your life. Now! Do something you love. Do something you don’t love, but might, if only you try!

Like Nike said: Just Do It.

Book Review: Rachel Gibson’s See Jane Score

image from Amazon

Anyone who has ever salivated over a sports pro or mooned after a movie star will relish this fanciful romance between brainy Seattle Times columnist Jane Alcott and hockey player Luc Martineau. Luc, nicknamed Lucky for his ability to score with women and keep his opponents from scoring on the ice, is less than thrilled to hear that Jane will be reporting on the team’s games and digging into his unsavory past. Still, he can’t help feeling attracted to the pint-sized writer, despite her drab clothes and unfortunate profession. For Jane, the assignment is the perfect opportunity to stop writing fluff and break into serious reporting. But following the progression of the puck turns out to be less challenging than getting the players to talk, particularly Luc, whose lusty looks make her want to ditch her black clothes and wear red. The two eventually wind up in bed together, but Luc’s fear of commitment and Jane’s fear of abandonment may keep them from taking the next step.”

- From Publisher’s Weekly

This was my first Rachel Gibson novel, and I was not disappointed! I’m at that point of my romance novel journey where each novel I read now seems too formulaic—however, that was not the case with See Jane Score.For those that enjoyed Susan Elizabeth Phillip’s Chicago Stars series, this would be a book to read. And, judging from this one novel, this series would satisfy your contemporary sports romance cravings.

Jane, the female protagonist, is aptly named since she is made to be known as a plain Jane, which I am a sucker for. However, unlike many romance novels, this wasn’t her only defining quality—other than respectably writing for the Times, she also writes smut for a men’s magazine to supplement her income. She possesses a character depth that is unusual in this genre.

Luc, on the other hand, fell a little flatter in comparison to the heroine. He was a very typical hero in a plain Jane novel: at first, he didn’t really notice her—he even antagonized her a bit—but once she proves that she looks fine in something more appealing, he hones in with single-minded focus.

The plot was well developed. Sometimes, romance novels get so wrapped up in the romance as its sole plot that we forget the characters have lives outside of their relationships. This was not the case with Gibson and it was a nice change of pace. Usually, in romance novels, I enjoy the heart-twist effect that shows how involved I am in the novel; in See Jane Score, I totally got it. There were even some tears as the novel came to an end.

Overall, See Jane Score became one of my favorite contemporary novels and made me interested in reading more from the Chinooks Hockey Team series as well as her other works. From the first page, I was captivated by Gibson’s pleasant, humorous tone that propelled me into reading it in one sitting. It was evident from the beginning that this was a book that didn’t take itself too seriously and would offer a gradient of emotions that would stick with you for a while.

Summer Should Be Productive

After so many summers breezing by without more than a few precious memories to remember it, I’ve decided that this year, summer will be different. This year’s summer, I vowed, was going to be a productive one.

Productive, why, you ask? 

This actually goes back to a trait [link coming later] that I personally dislike; one that I am guilty of many times before I remember to correct myself.

Sure, I’m a fan of lazy days as much as anyone is. Actually, I like to say I specialize in lazy days. However, making your summer a productive one doesn’t actually take that much time. I’m still able to come home every day and have ample me-time.

However, if you think about it, how many times do you look back on your life and recall fondly those lazy Sunday days? For me, I definitely know that I hardly recall them as specifics. Sure, I’m aware that those days are enjoyable, but not to the extent that I’m going to be writing about them 50 years in my future.

Productive, how, you ask? 

Well, I started off by making a list. If you know me well enough, you’ll know that I have a borderline-unhealthy relationship with lists. I love them. If there was a job making lists, I’d be Steve Jobs of that career.

attributed to sweetnothin

And before long, that list was about 50 activities long and counting. Here are just a few of them:

• obtain motorcycle permit
• visit various friends in various places (this is more specific on my list)
• lose 20 pounds (losing weight will forever be ingrained on all of my lists)
• get tragus pierced
• watch all summer movies that I want to see
• read at least 20 books on my to-read list
• get hair dyed and cut
• go canoeing in the local river
• visit each ethnic neighborhood in Chicago
• Hookah
• House of Blues
• Hiking
• etc, etc…

Despite whether or not I will be able to accomplish all of these things—actually, it would be rather pathetic if I didn’t because many of them are mundane—it ultimately came down to doing something momentous every day.

Many of my summers, I believe, have passed quickly because I lost track of time. You know, that feeling that leaves you wondering where the time went and trying to remember how you spent it? I hate that feeling. To me, it signifies that I’m making it a habit, and in no time, life will soon start to slip as well.

So I’m choosing to do something about it.

I want to be able to look back at this summer and be unable to count, yet remember, each and every memory that I make this summer.

Announcing my return!

Ok, I apologize. I’ve been through a lot this past school year, which is why I’ve been so on (more off) about writing. What’s up with the new WordPress changes, anyways? 

So, as an apology, I’ll highlight some things that I’m doing recently: 

First of all, I’ve drastically—or so my parentswould say—decided to change my major. For those that don’t know, I was a pre-pharmacy major, and I was definitely not happy with it. I’m one of those people that need a passion for what I do and none of the classes gave me an intellectual boner. I also felt trapped in the pre-pharmacy decision that I had committed to as a mere high school senior. I’ll do a post about this later, but why does the system believe that high schoolers can make such a big decision about their future?! They are hardly functional enough to make wardrobe or even social decisions, let alone what they’re going to be doing for the rest of their life. 

So, taking the advice of my therapist, I decided to branch out from the cage I locked myself into. I took some Art and English classes. The art class didn’t do so well—I barely went to that class and just bummed around in the dorm. The English classes, however, sparked something that I thought I lost a long time ago. It sparked my passion for the written word and my love for the way we could talk to these works through analytical papers. Yeah, I know. I’m crazy. 

• Miss Millennia internship 
   Going along with my drastic—again, the word of my parents—decisions, I needed a starting point in this new world. So here I am, editing and writing articles and monthly emails, compiling newsletters, and overseeing general going-ons. 
• Daily Source internship 
  What’s better than one internship in your future field? Two internships in your future field! Here, I just go on and edit the general page.  
• Park District employee 
  Much like I did last year, I’m committing myself for another grueling summer season at the manmade beach. With a fire-breathing manager that I’m pretty sure hates my guts. But, I love the people I work with :)  
• traveling 
  In a week, I’ll be heading to Europe, for the first time in my life! Although I’ve said before that I wanted to travel theworld by myself… I guess I can concede to a first trip with my family. Yes, I know, I’m at that age where it’s almost strange to go on family vacations… but it’s Europe. 
• Writing 
  Yes, I’m writing now. It’s probably not going to be very good, and large parts of it are based on my life, but… I will forge on because it’s what I feel like doing. 
• New obsessions
  Including… all of the avengers, especially Tony Stark, Hawkeye and Loki. Homina homina. 

Anyways, that’s all I have to say for now. I promise that my next posts will be more exciting and well thought out, especially since I’m heading to Europe and I feel like I should document this anyways. 

An Atheist’s Understanding

Although I am an atheist, there are times where I understand why people would choose religion over belief in themselves and science.

I don’t agree with being born into a religion–to have a true religion, you must realize this yourself; you must be put into a position in which religion can only benefit your person in regards to mental strength. Nor do I agree in labeled, categorized, institutionalized religion. I believe that a religion can be whatever you make of it–as long as it helps only you. I don’t believe that anyone should ever advocate or force his or her religion on anyone else only because their specific religion may not be the best for the other person.

Having said that…

Recently, I’ve been having a difficult time–thus the lack of activity on this site, for which I apologize. I now know what people refer to when they say they’re lost or have lost their way. There’s no other way of describing this passionless, meaningless existence that I currently find myself in other than with the word “lost”.

Much like in Eat, Pray, Love, I, too, found myself huddled in bed, crying today because it was a particularly bad day. I have lost motivation in anything I do–except for the activities that concern people I love. I have lost purpose. I have… lost. I. am. lost. And, again like the book, I found myself turning towards something else; some greater entity–not a single person, but the universe.

I found myself asking, “help me. Please, help me. What do I do?”

And at that moment, I felt different. Less weighed down. This gave me pause. After over 20 years of being an atheist, had I finally joined the ranks of those belonging to a religion? What religion would this be, then?

I thought about this for a while. I thought about how I felt and why I felt like this. Why, suddenly, did I have strength to carry on; to believe that everything is ok?

No, this wasn’t god, I decided; this wasn’t because I found religion. This was because I put my troubles and emotions onto something or someone else to carry.

Although I disagree with the belief that turning towards a god means that you are no longer lost, I understand why it’s a belief. When you turn towards something else, when you hand your destiny to the universe, you feel less lost because of the renewed belief that there is a purpose, despite the fact that the purpose may not be your own.

I understand the temptation that a faith offers someone–a belief in something when belief in yourself falters. I believe that people do find strength in god because strength in themselves falters. And only the toughest can survive like that.

Though I am, and always will be, atheist, I no longer scoff at certain practices of the religious that truly believe and gain strength from some entity. However, I will say that I admire most those that do not and rely on the strength in themselves. I hope in the future I can be one of those people. But for now, I will use–sparingly–this unknown entity as a crutch in finding my own strength.