Social No-No #1: Being TOO Happy

Did you know that here’s a stigma against being too happy when first hanging out with someone/a new group of people?

Totally ridiculous.

But, unfortunately, true. And, of course, I’ve learned about this stigma firsthand.

This may not be a problem for everyone. It might just be me. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s just me because never have I had someone utter to me the words, “damn, I think I was too happy.”

I think many people are just nervous of the first hang out being awkward, so there’s no room for extreme happiness. Or that people are a little too inhibited for fear that the other person won’t like them or vice versa—I understand: sometimes I get myself deep into friendships that I realize, too late, was a mistake. And when people hang out with someone who is just… happy about hanging out, somehow this translates into desperation. 

And we all hate desperation, don’t we?

Oh, she doesn’t have friends, which is probably why she’s so goddamn happy to hang out with me even though we’ve never done so before is probably what many people think.

It’s ironic how someone who’s desperate for friends is impeded by their own desperation to make friends.

Still not talking about me, by the way.

But you’re telling me I can’t laugh for 5 minutes straight? That I can’t drape a permanent grin from cheek to cheek? All because I might scare people? Because I might be too intense; too desperate? 


I do what I want.

Yes, sometimes it’s awkward. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be happy that we might bring our relationship to the next level. Forging new connections, even when extremely one-sided, is like a drug to me—but only with the people that I actually want to be friends with.

And! There’s a difference between desperation and happiness, I promise you. Desperate people want to move the friendship along too far, too fast and start suggesting future hangouts before even finishing the current one. Happy people are just happy to be in the moment and are more laid-back about when the next—if there will be one—hangout will be.

That being said, just because I stare a little too deeply into your eyes, laugh at everything you say, and get a little too enthusiastic about the mundane things you’re saying, you should be flattered. Why? Because that means I truly like you and would like to continue the friendship.

That doesn’t happen often.

It doesn’t mean that I like you like that, if you’re a guy. And that doesn’t mean that I want you as a best friend, if you’re a girl.

All it means is that I enjoy your company.

Let’s just leave it at that.

Anyways, the real danger sign is when you see me outside your house.


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