Interesting Trivia From My Fall This Morning

Background: today while on a bike, I rammed into a fellow biker.

  • I went flying while he jumped gracefully off his bike
  • I stood there for about 2 minutes, just holding his hand. I think he offered it to help me up, but I just took it as a comfort and just held it.
  • 30 seconds prior to impact, I was distracted by what seemed to be really gross cellulite on the upper back thighs of this girl. Upon closer inspection (T-10 seconds), I realized it was her ass, being squeezed out of her high-waisted booty shorts with every step.
  • People probably thought I was a lesbian.
  • He was an athlete. No wonder he was able to escape unscathed.
  • Had he not escaped, the impact would’ve felt, I imagine, akin to that of an elephant stomping on a baby.
  • I said “I’m so sorry” 10 times
  • My shoe came off. How does that happen? One minute it’s happily being lived in by my foot, the next minute it’s on the ground looking so lost and victim-like.

So how was your day? Anything interesting to alleviate my embarrassment? 

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