As it is my last year as an undergrad, our relationship seems to be coming to an end. It hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows. Because of you, I was always moody; I never knew why I felt the way I did. Because of you, I got fat, lost a crazy amount of weight, and put on the pounds again. Because of you, my skin has never looked worse. Because of you, I could stay in bed for 14 hours, wasting my day away. It was really stressful, you know? So, don’t take this the hard way, but I’m looking forward to something else.
But before we say our true goodbyes—I know I’m going to have my weak moments—I have a few questions for you. Will the good parts be as good as the times we had together? I’ve heard a lot and people seem to just want to get back together with you. And the sleeping less thing. I’m particularly interested in that. We wasted a lot of time together in bed and I would really like to need less sleep.
It’s been a good run, A, and I’ll never forget the good times we had together. You taught me a lot about myself; I love to laugh, to be immature and silly, and that I can’t possibly survive without friends. You gave me the energy to rage for three consecutive days at Lollapalooza on five hours of sleep each night while still attending aftershows and such. You gave me courage to pull off a spontaneous hair dye that was a little too bright for my skin tone. And being with you was like hiding in a safe haven; never did I have to worry about paying rent or if I could make it on my own.
You know, on second thought, maybe we don’t have to completely cut it off. In fact, why don’t you stay for another, let’s say, 10 years? Does that sound good? … please? I promise we’ll do fun things like travel around the world, go to all these music festivals, etc. Yeah? Ok, great! You promise?
In that case, I’ll start writing a letter to Adulthood.
Yeah I know he’s a bore.